Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Advantages to being 60

Advantages to being 60: (and I've just started!)

1. You can count on your fingers the number of years until you can retire. (Unless it gets changed)
2. Somehow you become an authority figure.
3. If you are a nurse, you can eat crabby doctors for lunch! I don't know how that translates into other professions.
4. Senior discount? Bring it on! I'm not proud.
5. "That time of the month" means nothing to you.
6. "Cool" and "Trendy"--see above! Wear ugly shoes, elastic waist pants (around your real waist!), be comfortable while younger, less confident friends feel the pinch! And NO one will ever have to see your belly button again!

Things I am NOT going to do when I retire.

1. Go far far away in the wintertime for a long long time. I've been waiting my whole life to stay home through a snowstorm without feeling guilty.
2. Stop working. But I might do something else. (Archeologist? Humor writer? Walmart greeter? Solitaire extraordinaire?)
3. Dye my hair*, get a facelift, or lie about my age. I've worked hard for these gray hairs and every wrinkle I have has a story. I'm not old--I'm seasoned! Actually, I have a feeling some of my octegenarian friends are laughing at this post thinking I have no idea what the big deal about 60 is. I know I worried all year before I turned 30, and it was no big deal at all!
4. Have a colonoscopy. (The movie I can stand to miss. I'll wait and buy the t-shirt--or sell popcorn for yours!)
5. Ditto mammograms. (eeu! What if there is a power failure? Or an earthquake?)

*Don't get me wrong, I have friends and family who color their hair and seem to carry it off very well. I just know I'd never keep it up. I'd be going around with my hair in stages all the time.

7 comments:

Laura said...

you're 60 wow....that must make me....nope....I'm still WAY younger than you.

Very funny stuff though. I hope I'm still blogging as actively as you are when I turn.....old....

also as a rule, I try to avoid getting mammograms in BOTH severe thunderstorm situations and during earthquakes....call me paranoid.

Amber E said...

The archaeologist idea is fun, and would definitely require practical shoes. Hmmmm, maybe I should stop feeling so darn old as I approach 30.

Julie Hedeen said...

Yes, some people look at their youthful errors and regret drinking too much, dropping out of high school, starting smoking or other things. The thing I regret the most is wearing those very trendy (but very painful) pointed toe shoes all through my sophomore year of high school. Martie did it too. We didn't want to look like we had big feet (we did) so we developed diamond shaped feet. Which we still have! So I BELIEVE in comfortable shoes. LOTS of toe room.

Julie Hedeen said...

And really 30 is just a day. And look at Grandma Jule! We just don't age very fast in our family. We also tend not to "mature" very fast . . . hmmm! It's just a number, you are a person. It's not like God says, "Well Amber, I see that-DING-you're privilege to get married or have children or finish college or move to Sudan has now expired. Too bad. Can I interest you in some corn pads?"

Kristen said...

As I was reading the post, John-John walked in and pointed to the computer and said, "Look! There's Grandma with a moustache!"
Just thought I'd share...
Congratulations on being 60.
:0)

Amber E said...

John is so cute. You know, I actually have no desire to move to the Sudan but thank you, since I actaully do not need corn pads yet I am now cheered up.

Kristen said...

Tumble weed blows by...